Starting the Conversation

Illness tends to be a lonely place. No matter what ails you - it is you and you alone who suffers in your own unique way, be it a common cold, or stage 4 cancer. Each individual suffering is different and apart from what anyone else has experienced, so the best we can do for those we love when they are ill is to empathize, try to understand, and to support. But, in truth, when you are unwell, it is a solo flight, with (hopefully) lots of ground support. What to do, though, when your isolation is matched with fear? When you are are afraid of reaching out for support. When you expect judgement. When the empathy and understanding you need isn't offered, or your illness is rejected. This happened to me this weekend: I speak easily, and in an age appropriate way about my mental & emaotional struggles in front of my children. I mentioned in front of them that I took medication to help with my emotional imbalances. I was later berated by someone in the room, who called this "inapropriate", rolled their eyes in scorn, and said that information such as this should not be shared publicly (TOO.LATE.) What? If I had mentioned that I took Advil for a migraine, would this be a problem?Synthroid for my Hypothyroidism? Puffers for Asthma? Statins for high cholesterol? I suspect that these and many more would be considered just fine. After all, we can't prevent those diseases, can we? It's not your fault your thyroid doesn't function. Yes. I am rolling MY eyes this time. I think people are terrified of mental illness, because there is no-one who cannot relate to the pain of mental & emotional trauma. Who hasn't felt panic, fear, sadness, mania, depression etc in the course of their lives. Who among us hasn't felt so overwhelmed at some point that getting out of bed seems impossible? Not many, I'm guessing. To deny that these disorders are valid, that mental illness is an issue that cannot be controlled, is simply expressing the fear that one day they too could suffer. I can only imagine the pain of dialysis, but am far removed from the reality of it. So when my friend who is going through this turns to me, it is easy to find empathy, and not to fear this happening to me. I cannot imagine what she is feeling, so I can only pray for her. Remember when you felt any of the above? Right - now imagine feeling like that permanently without hope of returning to the capable human being you once were. It's terrifying. No wonder that so many people prefer to believe that "it could never happen to them" and prefer to have these issues and the reminders of their own fallibility shoved behind closed doors. Now I know that was harsh. I know that many reading this blog are extremely tolerant and understanding of those in their lives who suffer mental illness. But I challenge even those who have a progressive and open minded attitude to step up and start talking. Be a part of the conversation. Because it is no longer enough to simply stand by. I don't know if we'll change the minds of everyone, but we WILL empower those living with mental illness. We will slowly help employers, neighbours, families to accept that people who suffer ARE normal people, as capable as anyone else of being a productive and important part of society. We that suffer are not left without responsibility. We must, as we are able, start the conversations ourselves. We must look within ourselves, and learn to love what we see. After all we cannot possibly expect to be accepted by others, if we do not accept ourselves. Famous Public Figures Who Suffer From Mental Illness Bipolar Disorder: Catherine Zeta Jones, Beethoven, Rosemary Clooney, Demi Lovato, Kurt Cobain, Carrie Fisher, Ben Stiller, Mel Gibson, Robert Munsch, Winston Churchill, Jean Claude Van Damme, Francis Ford Coppolla Post Partum Depression: Brooke Shields, Bryce Dallas Howard, Britney Spears Clinical Depression: Emma Thompson, Jim Carrey, Ashley Judd, Jon Hamm, Buzz Aldrin, Janet Jackson, F.Scott Fitzgerald, John Daly, George Michael, Eric Clapton, Ernest Hemingway, Charles Dickens, Clara Hughes Disassociative Identity Disorder: Herschel Walker, Roseanne Arnold (along with OCD, depression and agoraphobia) Panic Disorders: Paula Deen (along with agoraphobia), Nicole Kidman, Margot Kidder (along with depression) Jian Gomeshi, Johnny Depp, Oprah Winfrey, David Bowie,Scarlett Johansen, Kate Moss, Adele, Emma Stone Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder: David Beckham, Fred Durst, Howard Stern, Howie Mandel Eating Disorders: Elton John, Princess Diana, Portia DeRossi, Jane Fonda, Audrey Hepburn, Katie Couric, Sally Field, Tracy Gold, Candace Cameron Bure,Felicity Huffman,Diane Keaton, Dennis Quaid, Meredith Vieira Dyslexia: Albert Einstein, Tom Cruise, Walt Disney, Alexander Graham Bell, Nelson Rockefeller The above lists are very small segment of the amounts of people who live with mental illness. You are not alone! v